


fake it 'til you make it

by dolphinsqueaks



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-22 07:13:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8277293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dolphinsqueaks/pseuds/dolphinsqueaks
Summary: Tsukishima is gay as hell, his parents don't know and are insistent on getting him with a girl, so obviously, the only solution is to pretend to date his best friend - oh, and also fall in love with him along the way whilst convinced he'd never love him back (hint: he already does).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> gonna add chara tags and other tags as i go along. im a sucker for this trope and i havent seen it for these two yet so i thought id change that! ;))  
> EDIT: I TOTALLY REWROTE THIS CHAPTER!!!! IT FLOWS A LOT BETTER AND IS MORE IN CHARACTER NOW!!!!!

A well-known fact, to Kei at least, was that he was absolutely not straight.

He should probably have known this since the age of about thirteen, when other boys in his classes were sharing round dirty magazines they’d discovered in older siblings’ rooms and Kei was made entirely uncomfortable by the whole ordeal. Yet, deep down, it seemed he’d always found boys’ physique and facial structures that much more attractive – he remembers thinking he was a ‘late bloomer’, but he absolutely was not. Boys were just a thousand times more appealing, and he’d yet to realise it because he was expected to like girls.

Only he and Yamaguchi knew explicitly that he was, in fact, gay. If people had assumptions that was on them, but for the foreseeable future he wasn’t planning on telling anyone else. As annoying as it was to still get confessions from girls, to still get teased by the team for so much as looking in a girl’s direction, it was definitely better to keep it that way. It was too troublesome to tell everybody and have their opinions change about him, even if unwillingly.

However, he was starting to find it hard to stick to his own ideals. As he got older, the more his parents pointed out potential love candidates – this was only an issue because every single one happened to be a _fucking girl_. The urge to just nonchalantly mention he was gay the next time the topic arose in conversation was overwhelming, but he _couldn’t_ , and it physically pained him when he had to agree that maybe this girl was cute, sure she was pretty, and yes, she seemed nice.

But recently, the situation had gotten critical. The daughter of a family friend had caught his parents’ eye, and she somehow met every criteria they’d set for the perfect daughter-in-law. She was admittedly very pretty, and came across polite, but god did she have the most bland personality in the world. Kei doesn’t think he could ever uphold any form of conversation with her – he wouldn’t want to to begin with. For others maybe her looks could get her by, but it just didn’t do it for him. It literally never could. He swears if he doesn’t get it sorted soon, he’ll have to end up marrying the damn girl because he couldn’t bring himself to tell his parents he was gay. God that’d be disastrous.

These thoughts plague his mind 24/7, because his family mention it all the damn time. He now lives in constant fear that they’ll set up some kind of date in secret, and his life will spiral out of control from there.  Even on a day like this, where he’s woken up at 10am to the sound of birdsong and the warmth of the sun’s rays, he feels an incessant sickness at the thought of having to sit down and so much as talk to the girl.

On such days he’d usually be reasonably content with life, because it was one of his rare entire days off. No practice, no school, no expectations. Maybe he’d be able to sit down and read for hours, or do something with Yamaguchi like text or play a game, but even that was no longer fun, because of these constant stupid thoughts. Always nagging at the back of his mind, convincing him something will happen and leaving him on edge.

He’s very suddenly broken from these thoughts by the sound of his phone’s violent vibrations across his bedside table. The flash of star emojis in the nickname has him smiling softly at the screen, and he immediately goes to open it. A simple good morning text, followed by ‘want to do anything today?’

It takes a minute to consider. Kei definitely liked hanging out with Yamaguchi – it was always gentle and calming. Perhaps it would take his mind off things, as an added bonus. Without a second thought, he replies ‘you can come over if you want’.

A split-second later, and his phone lights up again with a ‘sure tsukki!!!’ and about a thousand emoticons. Kei rolls his eyes at the enthusiasm but lets himself smile nonetheless. With his day somewhat sorted, he decides it probably best to get ready now – Yamaguchi could literally appear any minute. They never really sorted specific times, because they were always welcome at each other’s houses.

It takes a solid half hour to shower, brush his teeth, pick out a decent outfit and sort his appearance. Kei blames his hair, since whenever it gets even slightly wet it gets excessively curly and takes forever to fix properly. If only he had straight hair, life would be so much easier.  This thought is interrupted by the sound of the door being knocked, and Kei plods downstairs to let Yamaguchi in.

Said Yamaguchi greets Kei with a smile so bright it could compete with the sun’s rays, earthy brown eyes glowing gold in the light. He enters the Tsukishima household and toes off his shoes, then the two clamber up the stairs to Kei’s room.

Upon entering, Kei seats himself on the edge of his bed and shuffles back so that his back is pressed against the cool wall and his legs are stretched out, feet still dangling off the edge because of his stupid height. Yamaguchi follows suit, perching on the edge a little more timidly.

“Hey, did you hear about Hinata’s whole crush issue? He completely embarrassed himself in front of him the other day,” Yamaguchi snickers, crossing his legs and wriggling to get comfortable on Kei’s bed. Kei smirks without even knowing the specifics.

“I’m not surprised,” he hums. Yamaguchi is further amused by this, and smiles so wide his eyes crinkle at the corners. Kei looks away a little too quickly.

“Of course it had to do with him getting a volleyball to the face – because when does it not – he was _mortified_ —” Yamaguchi has to pause to laugh, “His _face_ , Tsukki, you should’ve seen!”

Kei snorts. “I can imagine.”

“And, like, it was because he was _trying to show off_ , which makes it _that much better_ —”

“I thought he was our friend, Yamaguchi,” Kei interrupts, tone mock accusing.

“He is but he’s hopeless!” laughs Yamaguchi. At the adorable fit of giggles, Kei can only laugh along – not as hard, but enough to leave Yamaguchi knowing he’s left an impression.

Once they’d settled down a little, Kei thinks about his own romance-related dilemma. If only he could be Hinata, blindly trying to impress somebody so that they’d be interested in him, instead of the complete opposite, cowering at the mere mention of anything romance related. He deliberates over it for a little while, and then thinks about Yamaguchi, probably the only friend he could confide in and fully trust.

“Yamaguchi.”

The boy hums, smile adorning his freckle spattered face as all attention is on Kei.

“My parents want me to date a girl,” he tells him, deadpan, “I’m pretty sure they would let her marry me if it was possible right now.”

Yamaguchi snorts, first and foremost. “I’m sorry, Tsukki, but a girl? Are they stupid?”

“That’s the biggest issue,” Kei agrees. “I need to get them to stop asking if I’m interested every day. I’m worried they’ll set up some kind of date without me knowing.”  

“Oh, that would be terrible,” muses Yamaguchi. He’s looking off into the distance dramatically, like he’s thinking especially hard about Kei’s situation. “How do you even say you aren’t interested without saying you’re gay? They’ll keep finding girls, won’t they?”

Again, Kei hums in agreement.

Silence falls between the two again as they each think. Yamaguchi shuffles back so that he’s shoulder to shoulder with Kei, whilst still staring ahead unfocused. After a few minutes, chocolate eyes shimmer to life again, and they’re suddenly directed at Kei.

“You know those movies where they fake date someone to like, make someone jealous or something?” he asks, tone clearly implying there’s more to this point than just the question.

Kei nods, eyebrows furrowed. He didn’t think he liked where this was going.

“Why don’t you do that? With a guy, so you’re sort of coming out, and also getting your parents to stop suggesting people you might be interested in?”

“With who, though?” Kei asks with a frown. If he didn’t get headaches from being with half of the people he was acquainted with, maybe he’d consider it a little more seriously, but that unfortunately wasn’t the case.

“I’d do it, if you were really desperate,” Yamaguchi suggests, though he looks away and his cheeks are a little rosier than they had been. “Since our families are friends, my parents know I’m bi… I feel like everyone would be happy with us dating, anyway.”

Kei stares hard at Yamaguchi and reflects on the idea. Realistically, it could definitely work, since his parents already loved Yamaguchi like another son at this point. But there was also the invasion of privacy, the way they’d have to act in order to be convincing – not to mention, how those movies always ended: either in heartbreak, or with the two falling in love. Always painfully angst-filled, with a lot of pointless drama over miscommunication, even though they so obviously love each other to everyone else it hurt. Kei didn’t really want everyone speculating that they were really in love, and that it was painful for them to be involved in this fake relationship. It felt like an extra layer of drama. But he really, really didn’t want anything to do with the boring girl his parents desired for him, and he was willing to give up a lot to never hear her name again.

“That’s a good idea,” he finally says, carefully, as he’s still unsure, “but only if you’re okay with it.”

“Of course! You’re my best friend, Tsukki, anything to help!” Yamaguchi exclaims. He sounds shocked Kei would ever think he wouldn’t be okay with it.

Determinedly, Kei nods. “Then… we’ll have to practice,” he tells Yamaguchi, “to be convincing.”

Yamaguchi blinks owlishly, eyes wide, but he nods vigorously anyway. “O-Obviously! We can practice for a little while, then tell your parents.”

“Sounds good.”

“Is after school tomorrow okay?”

“Sure.”

“Then… think of couple-y things to do for then…!” Yamaguchi laughs this, but it’s shaky and dripping with nerves. Kei sighs, because it’s clear Yamaguchi really isn’t entirely on board with this, but if he really insists, he supposes he can’t be stopped.

“Then, you, too,” Kei replies, “but anyway, you were talking about Hinata and his crush?”

And they talk until Yamaguchi has to leave, about crushes, the team, homework, and anything else that comes to mind. But there isn't any mention of their fake relationship again.


	2. Chapter 2

When Kei had thought about what couples did, a lot of it came under ‘too intimate to do with your best friend’. It wasn’t that hand-holding or hugging had never been a thing between them, more that they had been things more comfortable to do as children. As they grew older, went through puberty, something about physical touch felt that it inherently had romantic implications. It suddenly felt like it was something wrong, that an encouraging squeeze of the hand or a comforting hug wasn’t okay anymore. Somewhere along the way they had each agreed, subconsciously, that they were just ‘too old’ for it. This made it intimate, between them at least, because their way of seeing it had become skewed enough that that’s all it was to them now: something to be saved for a lover.

Kei didn’t even really consider things like kissing, because that was taking it way too far. He didn’t know about Yamaguchi, but he certainly hadn’t kissed anyone, and he didn’t know if he wanted to yet. Wasn’t your first kiss supposed to be special, with someone you really love? Probably he’d read too many shoujos, but that was still how he felt. Then again, maybe he did love Yamaguchi enough for it to not be a totally terrible experience – even if not romantically, Yamaguchi meant a lot to him.  He didn’t really know. The thought of kissing him wasn’t unpleasant, but it made him feel sick with nerves and other reasons he couldn’t pinpoint.

This was a very complicated situation he’d gotten himself into.

But he had to go through with it, at the end of the day.

The hours of school pass quickly, one boring class after another. During their breaks, the two talk about anything other than their little ‘relationship’ – Kei even welcomes the idiot duo during this time, because at least they were another reason to not talk about fake dating and the practice it entailed. It was a mystery why, because Kei purposely stayed calm and collected, but he was irrationally nervous about Yamaguchi coming over, to the extent that his stomach was in this constant state of being knotted up and fluttery all at once. It left him with sweaty palms, constantly fidgeting. He felt restless – _on edge_ – and he really hated it.

Of course practice was no better. He was completely and utterly distracted, his blocks lacklustre, apparently so awful that he had to be pulled aside and asked what was wrong – which was embarrassing, because how do you tell your coach that the reason you can’t play properly is because you’re dreading kissing your best friend to convince your parents you’re dating him, even though you’re actually not?

Yamaguchi and he are the last two left in the club room at the end of practice, Kei receiving a concerned look from Sugawara as he leaves. This earns a questioning look from Yamaguchi, whom Kei waves off because there was no need for him to know it was technically his fault he sucked today.

When they’re dressed, it’s pouring down with rain, the drops fat and harshly thrashing at the asphalt.

“I don’t have an umbrella,” Kei comments, more to himself than anyone, as he’s about to step outside. A hand grips his wrist and tugs him back inside before any rain can even touch him.

“I do, just hold on a sec,” Yamaguchi tells him. He pulls out one of those little compact umbrellas, the ones entirely meant for one person. When he puts it up it looks pathetically small – much too small for two 15 year old boys.

“We can’t share that, Yamaguchi,” Kei states bluntly. Yamaguchi turns to him and scowls.

“Either we share or we wait for the rain to stop. I don’t want to get a cold, and I bet you don’t either!” With that he tilts the umbrella up and steps underneath. The rain patters loudly against it.

Kei sighs, and although he’d rather not he steps underneath as well. His shoulder is still getting drenched and it’s probable that Yamaguchi’s is too, and their bodies are awkwardly pressed together in the middle. It leaves Kei’s heart in more of a frenzy than it was before – and this wasn’t even their _practice_. He blames it on the nerves already making a mess of him; this probably wasn’t helping them settle much.

The walk home is as awkward as you’d expect – they constantly bump into each other, far too close for comfort. Although Yamaguchi babbles on as usual, Kei notices the stutter or hitched breath every time they knock into each other as opposed to the usual brush. He didn’t dare tease about it, not today.

They reach his house and remove their sopping trainers (Yamaguchi’s are literally flooded). Kei shrugs off his jacket, offering to take Yamaguchi’s as well so that he can dry them both. The shorter smiles warmly up at him as he passes it over with a little ‘thanks, Tsukki’.

As soon as Kei sets foot into his room his stomach does somersaults. It was honestly laughable how incredibly nervous he was; he was _never_ like this. Ever. Of course he was trying to keep composed on the outside, but there was only so long that could last and he wasn’t sure exactly _how_ long that was. They each dump their bags at the end of Kei’s bed and seat themselves on the edge of it, as per usual.

 Yamaguchi turns to Kei with furrowed brows, mouth set in a firm line. “I promised I’d help you,” is all he says.

“Yeah.”

“Do you still want to…? Today?”

Kei averts his eyes. “Only if you do.”

Yamaguchi visibly swallows. “Right.”

They sit in silence for a minute or so, before Yamaguchi shifts so that one leg is folded underneath him and the other dangles off the edge of the bed; he’s facing Kei now.

“What are we doing first?” he asks. There’s confidence in his tone, but the tremor at the beginning of his sentence is still caught by Kei’s ears. The latter clasps his hands together in his lap and fidgets.

“I don’t really know what couples do that isn’t…” he trails off because he feels like he can’t say ‘intimate’ without it having stronger connotations than it’s meant to, and instead phrases it, “crossing boundaries for us.”

Yamaguchi nods. “But all of what we’ll have to do will be crossing boundaries. Isn’t that what dating is?”

This time, Kei nods. He averts his gaze again and continues to fidget. This is hard. “So, start with stuff like holding hands and hugging,” he suggests; he knows it’s a little quiet, sort of a murmur, but he really can’t help it at this point. God, he’s being ridiculous.

There’s no response, just Yamaguchi moving. He brushes his fingers over Kei’s and Kei flinches like he’s been burnt.

“I guess that’s why we’re practicing,” laughs Yamaguchi, breathy and unsure.

“I just didn’t know you were going to start yet,” Kei retorts.

“Sorry, Tsukki.”

This time Kei anticipates it, and when Yamaguchi’s fingers graze his knuckles his hand only twitches. Slowly but surely, the shorter entangles their fingers; their palms are still flat against the sheets. It’s not proper hand holding, but Kei supposes it’s definitely a start.

When he looks up, Yamaguchi is staring intently at their linked digits, as though he’s trying not to _mess up_. It’s a little sweet. It gives Kei confidence enough to tug his fingers away briefly and slip them into Yamaguchi’s palm, bringing them closer to actual hand holding. Yamaguchi finishes the job, gripping Kei’s hand and slipping their hands off the covers to dangle between them. Their elbows brush.

“Easy!” Yamaguchi says triumphantly. “See, Tsukki, it’s not that bad.”

Kei lets their eyes meet. “I guess not,” he breathes. The knots in his stomach loosen. Of course hand holding was easy, they’d known each other for ever. It wasn’t like they’d never done it. Of course it was easy.

“Look, it’s all easy,” Yamaguchi says as he untangles his fingers from Kei’s. He pulls up the leg still dangling off the side of the bed and shifts onto his knees, then winds his arms around Kei’s neck. Dumbfounded, Kei just places his hands attentively on Yamaguchi’s waist. He hears Yamaguchi click his tongue, then feels as he brings an arm down to elbow one of Kei’s own so that it shifts further around Yamaguchi’s waist. “This isn’t even that bad, Tsukki, and you can’t even hug properly.”

Kei huffs, though he does wrap his arms a little tighter around Yamaguchi. It was no secret that he wasn’t one for physical touch, so Yamaguchi should really have expected this level of awkwardness on his end.

They part after a few more seconds, Yamaguchi sitting back on his heels. There’s an odd silence hanging over them, not entirely awkward but definitely not comfortable.

“Tsukki?”

Kei hums.

“W-when your parents know, will we have to share a bed?”

Kei feels the heat rise to his cheeks – he’s _sure_ Yamaguchi can see. “We don’t _have_ to do anything.”

“I-I know, but,” Yamaguchi looks everywhere but at Kei when he pauses and begins to play with the hem of his shirt, “d-do couples do that? Cuddle while they sleep? I mean, at our age—”

“How should I know?” Kei snaps. It’s due to embarrassment and he feels a little bad, but at the same time that sounded _absurd_. There was no way they could just casually cuddle whilst they slept and still come out of it just friends. He furrows his brows in frustration, but still tells Yamaguchi, “We can try if you want. If we hate it, we don’t do it.”

“F-fair enough,” Yamaguchi stammers. That is apparently for another day.

The two go on for a little while, trying various ways of grasping the others’ hand, as well as experimenting with what kind of hug feels most comfortable. They try hugging each other from behind, wrapping just one arm around the others’ waist, Kei having his arms around Yamaguchi’s neck in comparison to the other way around. It becomes so oddly second nature by the end that the knotting of Kei’s stomach has disappeared entirely. He doesn’t think about the fact that it’s inevitable they’ll do things that hold heavier implication of them being a couple – they’d just simply rekindled childhood forms of touch today, really.

When they decide they’ve done enough, Yamaguchi rummages around for work needing to be done for tomorrow. The two end up sitting and working through maths homework together, Kei helping Yamaguchi along since he hadn’t quite understood the explanation given in class. Whenever Kei leans over to point something out or write down how he’d work the question out, he doesn’t mind the accidental touches as much as he would have initially – it feels a little more familiar, even if he’s not one-hundred percent there.

When Yamaguchi leaves, there’s an odd ache in his chest. Perhaps it’s from overworking his poor heart, trying not to implode from embarrassment, but it feels as warm and soft as it does painful. Maybe he was getting ill? He decides it's unimportant, and goes about the rest of the day as he usually would. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3cc  
> i do know that canonically tsukki is 16 by the point the series is at, but i thought this would be a nicer fic without all the nationals stuff! so its set before that i guess?


End file.
